The hardest thing about being an ex-pat has been getting used to being a bumbling moron in the foreign tongue. I love being witty and playing with words. I’m articulate, literate, coherent, circumlocutory – OK, verbose. But I’m also an English graduate, an editor and a writer. I throw sweetcorn into the lakes through holes in the ice during winter, scrub floors and toilets in summer and shovel llama poo all year round. These days I’m a lake manager, gîte owner and llama farmer. I even know some of the words to the Marseillaise, without doubt the goriest national anthem out there. My Gallic shrug is right up there with the best of them, and I look hot in a beret. However, I am in training to become a French citizen. Chris and I will never get to that point, but that’s OK. They’re at the stage now where they’re forgetting English words and prefer reading French books to English ones. Our three children are completely Frenchified. We manage just fine without digestive biscuits and custard powder. We happily shake hands and kiss cheeks with anyone. We no longer froth at the mouth over lunchtime closing. We’ve come a long way – not just physically, but culturally too. It’s now ten years since we left Ireland to come to France. To protect the privacy of the persons involved, and in the interest of narrative clarity, some names, locations and conversations have been changed. Thank you for respecting the hard work of the author. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it wasn’t purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. This ebook may not be resold or given away to other people. This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. All rights reserved.Ĭover illustration by Roger Fereday, Cover design by The right of Stephanie Dagg to be identified as the author of the work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright Acts. Heads Above Water: Staying afloat in France
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